I started to feel really cold so I  pulled up the blanket to cover my whole body, I rapped myself so that nothing but my face was out for air, I turned to the window to see it cover in raindrops it had began to rain a while ago it seemed but I hadn’t notice.

I closed my eyes for a minute to think about my next step, after all, I couldn’t juts stay here watching Jane Austen film or reading her novels, I had to do something for a living. My eyes started to close as the thought of getting a new job as soon as possible left my brain, by a serious of strange dreams found their way into my mind, the one that stood out was the one where I replace Elizabeth Bennet with myself and Elliot somehow made his way into my regency dream although he would probably not appreciate the fact that he played the pitiful Mr. Collins in my dreams, nevertheless, it was a part and this time he was actually my confidante, it was a weir dream, Mr. Collins and his ridiculous manner could have never been Elizabeth confidante but this was my dream after all.

I woke up at five o’clock that evening from a combination of the music from the main menu of the DVD and a loud knock at the door; I got up rapidly with my hands shaking and my heart beating fast, I walked toward the door and opened it without even asking who it was, to my surprise I saw Elliot on the other side.”How was your first day as a free woman” he asked?, “Not bad I slept most of it”, “That’s good, a good rest was overdue”. As we walked inside I remember I had left him that morning without thanking him for the ride, “I’m sorry about this morning I didn’t even said goodbye”, “its ok, so… what your plan for the rest of the evening”, “well, I’m not sure, usually I would turn in early, but I don’t need to and since I slept all day, I’m not really tired” I said, “well lets go to Pete’s”, “Elliot its Monday” I said to remind him that the weekend was over, as if that would change his mind, “come on you have nothing else to do’, “well, let me take a shower”.

I went to my room and picked out the best dress I own, it was a sleeveless jewel tone blue cocktail dress, put my hair in a slick iron pony tail and perfect make up. I came out to see Elliot eating leftovers on the couch “Wow, I think now I’m under dress, you did hear we are going to Pete’s right?” He said surprise to see me dressed up, the last time he had seen me in a dress was at the Christmas party, “I know but I figure I would start with the right foot this new life of mine”, “ok my friends, and then let’s go”.

I woke up the next morning with the most painful headache I went to the kitchen pour my self of a tall glass of diet coke with a lot of ice, as I was walking towards my bedroom again I saw that my couch was already prepare for my arrival since I handy cleaned up the day before, I could think since my head was killing me so I decided to watch a movie, Persuasion was the order of the day, so I put it on the DVD player, turn on the TV and sat myself down for another Austen fest. Austen fest were not are at my house, but they were usually on a weekend and I would have Christine or some other friends over, now it was a Tuesday, I was hangover and I was alone, I could help but wonder  was this really my life?.

A couple of hours later I heard a knock at the door, it felt like a déjà vu, I walked to the front of my house, opened the door and Morgan was there soaking wet, it had been raining all morning again.”Come in “I said urgently “You are all wet, come in and get dry”, “I want to hug you, but I don’t think that a good idea“she said. We walk toward the kitchen; I didn’t dare lead her to my living room which seemed like my bedroom at that moment. She seat in my tiny four person, but really its more like two person dinning room, “I wanted to see how you’re doing”, I went to the fridge to get some bread and ham to make us some sandwiches, “do you want some diet coke?”I ask, she nodded yes, “I’m fine, I haven’t really had time to think about what I’m going to do, I’m sort of giving myself a vacation”, “well good, you should just have fun for now cause when you go back to work its going to be the same old thing”, “exactly” I said.

As she ate her sandwich in a hurry I remember she only had a thirty minute break so even if she hurried up she would still be late, Leslie would call her into her office, give her some speech about being late and she would have to go back to her desk to do some more paperwork and then her words came into my mind again, “its going to be the same old thing”  I looked at her in her pretty little suit, her designer shoes and perfect hair and make up and thought this is what we are, we are woman who show and the outside how great we are but what is there to show on the inside, do any of us have other talents besides picking the perfect outfit, we are successful but do our friends actually love us for it or resent us, we are always on the move in a hurry to get to work, to go to lunch, to meet a deadline and when we do have time off all we ever do is sleep or drink, when we are gone would anyone even know we were here as individual or are we always going to be a title, the working woman on a hurry, but who is she really, the truth is even if I compare my friends to the bonnets we’ve never known their true color, otherwise we would have seen Leslie’s change a mile away, at least the bonnets new that Lidia was perfectly capable of doing a foolish thing like escaping with Mr. Wickham.

Morgan stood up to take her plate to the sink, “leave it there, I’ll clean up later” I said to her, I knew she hated doing the dishes “thanks bud”, “so give us a call, maybe we can go to Pete’s this weekend?”, Pete’s, its reminded me I had a hang over, “mmm, sure, I’ll give you guys a call”, we hugged goodbye and she was on her way. I walked over to the living room, took sense and sensibility from my collection and started to watch, I loved seeing Marianne play the piano, I always wish my mother would have made me learn an instrument, but like myself and my friends she was a working woman, she barely had time tp help me with my homework let alone after school activities and as it was I was force to focus my life into studying to go to collage and then force myself to study to be good in business and then force to get a good job.

As a child I was grateful for the woman’s liberation movement it gave us the opportunities to be anything we wanted to, but I always resented not being everything I wanted to , there was never any time, I remember a conversation I had with Christine once, we were complaining about not being able to stay home and sleep and she being the ultimate single girl said I wish I’d meet a wonderful man with enough money so that I can stay home, its was a shocking statement as we were to slap every woman who participated and fought to give us the right to be in this office, but now it felt like we had the obligation to do it and the truth was most of us felt the same way as Christine we had fought and run and hurried ourselves into having great jobs at big companies and it was starting to feel like we were the only one fighting, no man was fighting for our jobs, our offices were full of tired woman and a few good man. We were tired we wanted to feel like ladies, and now that I was out of a job I was starting to see how that might be possible.

I focused of the screen as Marianne was playing her pianoforte, Eleanor  was doing some embroidering and little Margaret was reading, I wonder when was the last time a read a good book, probable in collage, the most wonderful idea came to my head I stood up  “now I can read, learn to play the piano and embroider if I wanted to “I said out laud , but as that idea filed me with excitement another one brought a big a I still needed money, I need to pay my house I need to buy food I had to find a way to get all of my basic needs. I lay against the sofa again and finished watching the movie, I would think about a solution maybe there’s something sense and sensibility that would inspire me.